de POLAR EXPRESS

2012-01-03T17:42:00.000+08:00

English holiday assignments, why you no do me good -.-

2012-01-01T02:08:00.002+08:00

Hey 2012, be nice (:

2011-12-31T03:04:00.002+08:00

I hate this feeling

I'm not looking forward to 2012

But it still caused me nervous

Like hell

2011-12-31T02:10:00.001+08:00

-.-

I told myself I'd stop liking you

I told myself it's non-of my frigging business

Yet it hurts like hell when I see you with some other girl

I guess I'm still not over you, it's like 0.01% left but it's still there

Damn, it's so pathetic but thankfully you'd just give me a reason to stop liking yo

You fucking disgusted me in some way which you knew I hate that
Yes I'm pretty sure you knew that
Sigh
Not that I wanted to quit liking you in this way
Guess you never care after all

Oh well, I must done with this damn thing

Yes, I have to no matter how hard is it
I will care about you for my entire life
But it's not going to be this way anymore

Liar liar
I've to stop lying too much, too.

2011-12-28T01:55:00.001+08:00

It suddenly struck me

People never stop judging

Not ever a second they would have given it a rest

Because they couldn't see the flaws on themselves

They go on judging

Poor judgement cost a big loss sometimes

In someway

It sound pathetic

00:56

2011-12-28T01:23:00.000+08:00

It's nearly one and I don't even feel like sleeping. I said I'd get my holiday assignments done and well here I'm the big fat liar who sneak into blogger to do some writing. God knows why on earth we have to go back to school for cleaning it up while the school actually hire some people to do cleaning. Plus it's involving only up to fifth form yet due to being a damn prefect, as a sixth former, I've to go back.

Life's really a bitch.

I'm bitter because it spoilt my holiday, literally.

Hmmm, it'd really surprise me it's the last week of 2011. Sad, not so sad. Nothing big happen this year and I'm really grateful on that. Lies remain unearth, truths remain untold. Days come and go, what's meant to forgive has been forgiven but hell one could hardly forget so don't even buy on someone telling you 'oh, I forgot about that already honey'. It's really revolting just look at those words.

Hopefully a better year ahead and I shall get my priority clear about what should really be top of my list.

I want and need money, no I don't want to ask for money, I wanna earn the money.

Sick of being feed because I'd been feed for the last 18years of my life.

It made me feel like I owe my parents a lot.

Hey, it's just a random thought :)

I miss having a guy that make me look forward to the school. Miss checking the phone pretty often just in case he text; Miss laugh over some lame jokes he made; Miss how much a little thing he does can mess up my mind. That's how magical love could be. Though I live with and without this quite successfully, the feeling is just something you'd miss when you stop having them. Frankly, I'm just going to be a nun for another year (Yeah, that sound ridiculous). Because for the time being, I don't find any dude makes me feel in such a way, not anymore

Sigh

That should be a good thing since I've only less than 1year left

Stay focusssssssss

Gahhhh I believe

Someday, somehow, I'll meet him at somewhere :)

Dammit, this is why I hate romance. It makes me sound even more desperate after reading it pfft. This is all your fault, darlbabun :)

Should resume my assignments.

Sigh

Ciao :)

2011-12-22T02:23:00.000+08:00

In case some of you like one of my friend asked, why the hell the blog title is "de polar express" not "le polar express" or "la polar express"? It's not like idk de is 'belonging' (which kinda means 'of', and 'from, in, by) and le is 'the' in French. I created this blog when I was 15, I don't care much about a single shit of meaning, just like any teenager, I do it because I like it (typical unwise teenage girl ha) and well I like the sound. So stop asking -.- and 'il' is the in Italiano. I know few preposition and that doesn't make me a pro, so yeah instead go on crapping here and searching for missing insects name, basically I should sleep because I've got work tomorrow :D

It's 2:30 in the morning :)

Ciao!

2011-12-20T00:34:00.002+08:00

I'm weird, really.

2011-12-20T00:09:00.000+08:00

It's unnecessary to argue over something that's false, unreal
The truth will be delivered to everyone's eyes in times
And you will know how wrong was it to jump to conclusion
I learnt to shut myself up in order to stop these words to bring me any impact
Yes, people words do bring a huge influence to me
But it was days back then
So, it technically mean nothing more than craps for me, now.
Just so you know
My heart died the night I stop crying from shits that reality brought to me
All I wanna do is nothing more than to stay away from the spotlight
Stay away from hypocrisy
Stay away from chaos
Stay away from being hurt again

I hereby to say,

Never ever judge too quickly, you might end up regretting for doing so.

Even knowing someone for years, one could turn out to a big lie in your life

Such a big joke, but sadly it's no joke when it happened

Pathetic oh pathetic

:)

Telephonephobia

2011-12-19T02:47:00.001+08:00

"Telephone phobia (telephonophobia, telephobia) is reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls, literally, "fear of telephone'.Telephone phobia is also considered to be a type of Social Phobia or Social anxiety problem. Sufferers typically report fear that they would fail to respond appropriately in a telephone conversation, and fear finding nothing to say, which would end in embarrassing silence, stammering, or stuttering.The associated avoidance behavior includes asking others (e.g. relatives at home) to take their phone calls and exclusive use of answering machine. As a result, the sufferers avoid many activities, such as scheduling events or clarifying information. Another reason is the sufferers may believe that people who call them bear bad or upsetting news."

Hell, I'm definitely not a quiet person if you know me (I'm, LOUD) nor I'm ashamed that quite a lot of those should-be-started relationship gone cold halfway because when I'm on the phone with someone I barely know in person, especially not in a language I'm familiar with, I usually fail to respond in an appropriate way, leave alone in some interesting way to impress one. It's really awkward, though sometimes I manage to talk, but I'm more like a stammerer. And frankly if I'm the guy I wouldn't hesitate to move on to find someone who can actually talk properly. So now I know practically, this phobia exist, and I'm sorta glad that there's 2.5million people out there are having this together with me. Hmmm I'm bad and I know it :B Maybe I should blame my siblings for making me to phone the pizza delivery when I was young, because that's when the first time I fear of picking up a phone. If only if people manage to ignore, stand with my telephonephobia, I'd just bet they either love me like my family or they simply one of the nicest human on earth. Trust me, you never like being a telephonephobic. I'd this issue give me away in relationships, interviews and etc. Life's a bitch, always. I'm growing up in deal with it.

Arrivederci ♥

I know your still reading, properly laughing. Who cares?

If you mind, my life is way better off without your hypocrisy

Sorry to say so but please don't ever think yourself is too smart, be a humble man doesn't kill.

I'm sorry it hurts you to see me happy, because my happiness never bring you yours

But I learn that it brings out your bitterness, all the time

Sometimes, I miss you

But most of the time, it pained me and scare me how dark one could be if they decided to think otherwise

01:34

2011-12-12T03:16:00.000+08:00

Using the time as title has became one of my habit when I blog. I have thoughts coming into my brain now and then. They're coming in so randomly, involuntarily. This happens a lot especially when I'm alone, which I'm most of my life. Not complaining, not such a loser go and cry over the night for being a loner, just saying :) I wonder if this happen to anyone because if it doesn't, it's like another characteristic of being a weird loner like me. Whatever.

I just remember the guy I'd kept long hair for had once told me "I don't like people tell me 'Whatever' because it's pretty insulting, like you don't give a damn" Frankly I don't like it, too. I just keep eating my own words because I keep saying "whatever" from the moment I get used to it. People are like this, ain't they? Eating their own words while disliking the the whole situation much, for most of their lifetime.

Listening to some blues :)

I don't blog that often anymore, but I'm not going to quit on this blog. Not this one. This one carried my memories of life for the passed 3years, though most of the time craps were written, and I'm going to let it carries the memories for years to come. I don't write to inspire, impress, entertain anyone, somehow sharing thoughts of mine ain't necessarily to have any intention to do with those I'd mentioned earlier :)

To be honest, I'd once thinking to use my blog to earn some money but realistic thinking caught me from doing so. I don't provide any sort of information, nor I do any kind tutorial post that would beneficial to public. I've a pretty boring life, repeating daily routine and etc. Since I'd need a lot attention from people to earn by blogging, I think people would hardly have interest in a blog about life that's nearly as boring as theirs, so that idea just slip away, happily.

I might sound absolutely sour about my life, but it's the way I have live and I'm not angry, frustrated, pissed at my own life. It's always the way you're thinking is more important than the way you're doing it, the fact is that I don't feel sad about being a loner. Being one itself have let me survive through whatever hard time of not having anyone by my side. No, I'm not saying I love being a loner, I said I'm fine being a loner. I'd love some company from my family and friends for some times, too. Ironically, sometimes I'd like to be alone

If you've notice how ironic are my thoughts, this is all time trademark of a weirdo LOL

I shall continue later, because it's getting late and for any second I scare of my dad popping up his head from the door and start screaming at me. It's no good to have your old man screaming at you, especially he's really getting uncomfortable about his body.

Steve Appleton has released his latest EP lately and I just gotten check it out yesterday. No idea where to download for free except some songs he covered is available for download in his page. Unless you're able to purchase it online which financially speaking I'm barely allow to. I like his version of Fast Car and We Found Love :) Some people find his music weird, but I found it unique and amazing :) again it's depend on personal interest LOL

Till then, night earthlings.

2011-12-04T16:06:00.001+08:00

MY PC IS BACK YESH YESH YESH

:)

2011-11-27T12:14:00.001+08:00

I WANNA GO BOOKFAIR T.T

2011-11-25T15:03:00.001+08:00

internet is being nice today :D

那些年,

2011-11-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

读完了九把刀的 <<那些年,我们一起追的女孩>>

不懂为何,觉得很感慨

可能他的故事太过真了吧,丝毫没有假惺惺的感觉

没有近年来流行的梦幻爱情小说一般的夸张

也没有韩剧里百般的凄惨让人疯狂飙泪,呵

也可能是我能感受柯景腾的感受

因为我也曾经像他,为爱情那么傻呼呼地横沖直撞过

每个人的青春里都有过不一样的故事吧

我的友谊故事有些不堪一目

除了几位肝胆相照的朋友, 被背叛的事件多到不胜其烦,可悲. 不如来来说下爱情故事吧!

还是那位他, 我青春里也有过的一个沈佳仪.

喂! 别瞎猜, 我的性格虽然像个男生,但我是个道道地地的女生 -.-

我是说我有过这么一位, 我很重视的人

至今认识他,第五个年头了, 他还是占有我心中的一小部分吧

他的存在并没有因为时间的流逝而消失

爱情最美的时期就是你与我正处于暧昧状态?

真的是如此吗

那让人情绪忽起忽落,瞎做猜疑的时期

真的让人感到幸福?

可能会吧, 毕竟那杂乱的心情包含了一定的快乐

一种只有两人懂得的感觉

有时候,我质问自己

还在喜欢他吗

还在小孩子般的不肯罢休吗

还在对他有所期待吗

答案虽然很明确,但我还是像个爱赖床的家伙

不到有必要的时候,我绝对不会想要起来

我就像李小华, 错过了与柯景腾牵手的机会

干脆洒脱一些,过去就让它过去吧

别再一个人跳舞了, 那追不回来的日子只有想一想,再笑一笑自己鲁莽的份儿

他那珍惜我重视他的心意也不枉我为他疯狂的岁月啦

至少, 他有过要与我起舞的意愿; 至少,他曾对我有过的感觉并不是我的遐想

即使到头来我们没有在一起过, 那只是一个让我们不需为分离而发愁的好处

想开了的我说过

哪怕有天他找到了一个他真的爱的人

我也会送上我最好的祝福

因为他无可否认是我青春中一场美丽的遗憾

他让我知道即使没结果的爱情

开的花也可以很漂亮

这美丽遗憾,是你我专属的回忆

:)

2011-11-07T12:37:00.001+08:00

DOOMED D:

2011-11-06T16:32:00.000+08:00

I think I've got addicted to write in small font. They look really cute. I ended up sleeping at 6 in the morning, it was a miracle I actually got up when my sister told me my friend is here to pick me up around 8 in the morning. And god made a big joke with us, we went to the tuition centre and it turns out to be no lesson for today. How foolish am I to forget that it's the muslim's Raya Aidil Adha and it's a public holiday for sure. How foolish, getting old ain't I.

Went to Leisure Mall since driver of the day wanted to get some books and do some shopping. She ended up buying 2books and a pair of jeans. Happy girl, I'm too broke to shop for now, and it was regretful to not have my bank account always full of money that's sufficient for my desire, it's pretty empty now. See how broke am I. I wished to get a part time job but my parents don't give in on this one because they don't like the idea of having part time while I have yet to complete my sixth former life, they think that's a big distraction in life.

Should I make it clear as I always did? I don't wish to have the hatred full within my mind any longer, I felt like it had been manipulating me for years. I've a big ego like man, that's what some people said. Some even think that it'd be nice if I was born as a guy. Too bad, I was a girl, a boring one as I don't live to be an entertainment, so it's fine to be plain.

Just a random thought, I don't wish to repeat my MUET test simply because they're too expensive to repeat pfft.

It's said that the class replacement for today classes is on tomorrow, I'd really love to say fml.

Till then, I'd like to catch some sleep, ciao :)

2011-11-06T03:18:00.001+08:00

I guess having my final examination finished somehow makes me felt as though I'm blissfully blessed. It wasn't about I'm finally free from reading the goddamn thick sixth form books with things that have deep meanings and numerous mathematical question awaiting for my dreadfulness cry when I can't solve it, it was partly about I'm able to read some academic-non-related books, maybe some dramas and movies, most probably getting to meet up with friends and catch up with their current hectic lives. Most importantly, I get the time to sort my things, my thinking, and I really got the time to do what I wanna do which I had been unable to.

For instance, reading some books. I had finished a book in less than 48hours, and it touched my heart a bit like most of the books always did. It's Message in A Bottle by Nicholas Sparks. Yeah I think I'm somehow a fan of his now, I read almost half of his collection I guess. Some found it absolutely normal and predictable. Some found it bored them. Some found it heartbreaking. Some found it fascinating. I found them genuine. Unlikely for most of the dramatic romances, vampires, horrors, adventures, memoirs, they're simply an ordinary story, that indeed you can get a picture of it and touch your heart. Not a bad book to read though.

After all, I came back upon the topic of friends. Yes, I won't deny I have friends, true friends, real good friends but not bestfriend, not anymore. I'm definitely uncertain about loyalty and faith in relationship now. Insecurity? Nah, not an excuse for me. It always caught me thinking. Maybe what I'd read on magazines are right. I wasn't a great friend after everything I'd been through my high school years. I once thought I am a good companion, I enjoyed bringing laugh to people though most of the time it made a fool out of myself because no one actually find it funny, they still laugh for the sake of covering the awkwardness, I'd start to be the listener and talk less ever since.

My bestfriend, yes I do had one, no two but we kinda split so whatever it is now it doesn't matter anymore. She used to hide things from me, but she has the best reason for herself doing that, she tell people that I wouldn't understand what she's going through and she was willing to tell anyone but me. She thinks I'm just someone arrogant lad who hardly listen to her and don't give a damn on her but just to toy her around and she felt so left out whenever we're in groups with some other friends of ours. She simply think that I will never understand her sorrow, sadness, depression or whatever you call it for some negative thoughts about life. I loved her, I'm protective on my friends, I'm honest with them, I'm straightforwards, I'm mean and yes, that's what hurt her. She will never know I actually understand more than she did, and I thought we shared everything, but every time I have to find out something from others about her, I was finding excuses for her, simply I don't want to lose a friendship that I'd been cherishing for long time, and I saw us, three of us in the future.

Well, now that we're split, the betrayal is an ugly truth that I don't bother to argue anymore. I do talk about this with some people, sound positively as if I was bitching, but I'd just frustrated and wanting to tell her I care. I tried to make it up but failed, she barely listened and I've left with no choice. She chosen to avoid me, join some other people, calling them her real friends, she walked out from my life and I was naive enough to think that she might come back but something happened later shattered my hope, it only proven me I was wrong to think that I'm actually bestfriend of hers, idiotic enough to think that I was wrong about what she thought, and generally, I'm nothing more than an overwhelming emotional burden to her.

I definitely don't beg for forgiveness, nor I expecting an apology, I don't even have a sheer of desire to have your sympathy, it sound like a humiliation for me and I appreciate it if you don't take this as I'm trying to gain attention by using my past. I never favour being popular nor I wanted to be, I don't create up stories and twist the stories. I'm just telling you a tale of mine, and it's highly unlikely you can be in my shoes because my life is ridiculously dramatic. That incident was a wound that's recovered, and the scar is very ugly, too ugly to be cover up and it hurts to touch it as though it's still bleeding. Yes, I'm stubborn, egoistic, protective and human. It's way passed the time for anger, it's way pass the time to blame who's wrong, we had hurt each other badly and there's no turning back, not in the past nor in the future. It only left me a great sum of sadness to deal with and there's always a hole somewhere in me. And I'm never someone who forget so easily as I forgive, it's simply me, I'm not suppose to be sorry for that but I feel guilty for those who have to deal with my problematic attitudes.

Just so you know, I'm never good in dealing with dramas. Ironically, my life is pretty dramatic. It's so happened to me that to experience a friendship-breakup every single year I had in my high school years. Dramatic no. Yes if you're reading this, it's definitely ok to think that I'm the main source of the breakup, because that's what I thought too. And relationship with guys ain't going any better, all those puppy love, the longest-period crush, simply makes me think that they're just, something you'd to go through in life but you'd have your life move on even without their presence, plainly I still don't find someone special who can affect me like how my bestfriend did, I don't found heartbroken when I broke up with the guys though it was a short period of tough time, but I get over them too easily, not the crush darling by the way, he took me sometimes. I kinda stop finding or hoping, plainly I'm tired and they lit my hope and let me down, maybe they're uncertain as I am.

See, you can really say I'm one of the weirdest human alive on earth.

I've no idea why I'm writing this. After all this is my open diary. Maybe I was thinking it's a way to make me go to bed? Yes I hardly sleep early unless I'm dead tired with schools and stuff. Maybe I was thinking to let the world know, I don't wish to hold my anger and sadness any longer. Maybe I want everybody knows, I, seriously don't want to get through any dishonesty anymore, they simply break me. Thousands of maybe, but maybe you wouldn't care. This is a sentimental post. It creeps you out? Not what I intended. I don't even expect anyone to read this, if you spend time reading, I'm sure as hell you will read this line.

' Thanks for reading even the font size is too cute to not to read' :)

There's a Chemistry tuition lesson tomorrow, it's best for me to get some sleeps before I starting to get some electrons spinning on my head and start attracting some elements.

I'm not the optimist but I'm highly unlikely a pessimist because I'd have killed myself a billion times if I'm one.

So yea, I told myself to be appreciative on what I'm having now

Hmmmmm

Good morning to you, good night to myself, it's 3 in the morning

:)

2011-10-26T01:20:00.002+08:00

T___________T

2011-10-23T14:59:00.000+08:00

what goes around what comes around, we'll see

2011-10-22T17:21:00.000+08:00

I read back what I've written or you'd written, it caught me wondering, am I really a bad human being till the extend that I caused you changed so much. My bad. I seriously not going to apologize nor I'll accept your apology (as if you're going to give). Only for this, I couldn't bear with. I think I've to be done with your disloyalty, though sight of you will definitely not helping me to get over being disgusted with your hypocrisy, nah, wait till people explore the real you. I'll keep my heart close, because you taught me that.

2011-10-21T22:05:00.002+08:00

♥

2011-10-18T16:35:00.003+08:00

I should get myself something busy with, so that the past won't haunt me anymore -_-

A long long post.

2011-10-09T14:32:00.000+08:00

Before my sister comes back from Singapore, I better blog for the last time in this month since the broadband's quota is officially exceeded now, which gives my sister a reason goes screaming around and gimme a big headache, very soon.

Having to be involve in organizing an event is a whole different feeling though I'd always say I'm not going to be the organizer but rather the participant to enjoy the hard work done by organizer (I guess you'd just figure out how lazy am I). I hope this haunted house is going to be a bomb, and we're not making some lame shit out of nothing, we've got the brains among us :)

Speaking of events, next week gonna be a hectic week, Hari Keusahawanan (I called it the damn canteen's day off), followed by retirement ceremony of our beloved additional mathematics teacher, Mr. Tan and on the Saturday, there's Graduation for the school leavers. I remember my own graduation for last year, it just felt like I had it yesterday, I was having fun with my peer, everyone looks so pretty and handsome (Ha -_-) Times really fly, don't they?

The boy got a girlfriend and I'm feeling happy for him though the girlfriend is not me LOL ;) It only proves to me that I was right on quit missing a guy like him. Sweet talkers, their words are too good to be true. Thanks, I just stop putting much hope in love, blehh, too lazy for loving someone anymore :)

I'm hardly pessimistic, I'm a big optimist, but I'm in the middle between being optimistic and realistic.

Exam is coming, it's on the 31st of Oct. Man what the hell I'm doing here, so much to catch up -_- My chemistry is hopeless though I go to tuition, someone wanna lend a hand to help pathetic me in chemistry?

Oh dang.

People out there, if you're really too bored (or not), go and grab a copy of The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It's definitely a book worth your time for reading it instead of all those fictions. I might as well as say this book did touched my heart, and he's just right on almost everything :) As I grow up, I'm becoming more interest in reading non-fictions ( Just fyi, I only started reading my first fiction in English when I was fifteen, before that I read mostly Chinese fictions). I don't give up on fictions, just that I'd found non-fiction attracted me rather than fictions nowadays.

I think I'm done here at the moment

Nap time is up, ciao :)

2011-10-04T19:41:00.003+08:00

Imma quit missing you :)

2011-10-02T00:24:00.000+08:00

我被监禁了

因为一些愚蠢的原因

算了

我没力气去辩解

还有

我现在觉得我很废到无药可救

像我这种比男生更有男人气概的人总要喜欢上婆妈的男生

天晓得

再过一阵子那一位他再婆妈下去

我真的就把这次是我想太多

是真的我想太多还是他的的确确对我有好感

我慢慢的不想知道了

我很厌倦这种满怀期待但最后又希望落空的感觉

唉

2011-09-28T17:03:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, I just wanna tell you, I miss you :)

2011-09-25T21:54:00.001+08:00

Things seem to be going smoothly

Will there be any result that I am hoping for?

Or this silly attempt of mine might just face abortion as it had been expected to?

For the last time, I hope that you're not going to be a passer by in my life

If this turns out to be a failure, I shall stop hoping upon love anymore

It's more tiring than anything

Maybe like someone I know who once said, I just lost interest

Maybe I should stop expecting

Maybe I should not even give a damn

Maybe, this is wrong in the first place

So yeah, FML && ciao.

2011-09-20T17:08:00.002+08:00

Crap, how can a siamese cat (look-alike, I don't think they're pure breed) are so damn expensive. Damn.

2011-09-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

唉, 我不懂, 我应该给你什么反应.

虽然我当不成你的第一, 坦然而言, 我也不稀罕当你的安慰奖

我曾为你犯贱犯到谷底了,你还不明了?

我逼自己把你硬硬的放下

把我以前为你做过的猖狂事当成一个美好,可笑,甚至可爱的回忆看待

但, 我自己没有那么坚定的心可以完全对你不动情

哪怕你成了丑八怪,野人,不是人也罢

就是喜欢和你聊天,一起的舒适感

别的男生好像没给过我这种感觉,你懂吗?

我就是宁愿让自己受伤,糟蹋自己,也要选择珍惜你

妈啊,我前辈子欠你太多吗?

这桩事真的很累人-.-

为什么男生可以那么讨人厌的婆妈

婆妈不是女生的专利吗? 世界变了

喜欢就喜欢, 不喜欢就滚蛋, 世界的规律是多么的简单, 坦率一点吧人们

看来你还活着的一天,我是看不破红尘了

好啦

不当尼姑啦! :(

2011-09-15T18:32:00.001+08:00

唉!我已废弃我的母语多时,身为华人子弟,这现象是非常糟糕,简直有辱于我亲爱的母语 :(

前一篇的故事已正式告一段落,我与他也没下文了. 原来,这一切不过是昙花一现.我曾相信,他和他们是不一样的,到头来,是自己的愚蠢美化了他的一切. 无论如何, 就当我把他彻彻底底的看清楚吧. 天晓得, 为什么人会随着时代的改变而变得越来越胆小. 我坦然的告诉你吧, 我瞧不起胆小鬼. 虽然这很矛盾, 因为我也有我胆小的时候. 不过比很多人,我敢作敢当,可能有时候太大胆了吧, 总让人们咋舌.

我会去追求我要的幸福,因为我已经不想再感受那幸福从你身溜走的伤感.

搞不好这是我吓跑人的原因 (笑)

你可能说我对爱一无所知,或一知半解,也许可能我对爱跟本都不认识. 但我觉得我这短短的十八年, 我并没有白过. 每个人都有自己的观点,就算你不认同, 就算你不接受, 你也得思考一下为何人家的观点会跟你的如此有异,然后再下评论也不迟.

看见了好朋友对自己的背叛, 我现在会对自己过去的执着感到好笑. 刚开始,我很慌,我很心疼,我反省,我流泪但我就是放不下. 现在,应该是累了,我开始放下了.我厌倦了诺言,更厌倦了谎言.我已被人背叛到已经麻痹的地步,可悲可悲.可能这是我上辈子伤了太多人的心吧, 我接受这些报应,但愿我能在这辈子可以还清这些人情债 :)

我觉得除了我的家人, 世上我能信任的人已经屈指可数了,看起来我的人生是多么的无可奈何啊.

朋友说我没童贞, 我不会否认. 这多愁善感的脑袋, 要有童贞也难吧?

相信这句谚语 '人心不足蛇吞象' 大家都略有所闻吧.

其中一个令我发指的是人的野心. 为什么嘛,下次再说吧.

因为......

淋浴时间到了 :D

所以, 后会有期!

:(

2011-08-31T03:30:00.001+08:00

Idk

I'm confused

Because I just plainly afraid I am nothing to you

When you're becoming something for me

Sigh

We'll see

2011-08-31T03:00:00.000+08:00

I'm finally on holiday, taking a break, like seriously, I needed that more than everything

I guess I'm getting used to these kind of blogging type instead of writing of a whole paragraph.

Been lazy for past few days, didn't do anything, just fooling around.

Today is the first day of Eid al-Fitri and I actually followed my mom to his brother house, again

For the food or for the money, I've no idea

Because I was totally blank when I was told to wake up and go to his house.

After all, I guess I was there for food, had a mouthful of rendang cooked by my auntie

The Tan's were happily bragging about whatever shit in their life and I just plugged in my earphone

It's very impolite but I don't get Hokkien and leave alone the chaos created by them

After that, we went to KLCC for some shopping.

It was crowded by foreign workers and that scared me because there was huge crowd of them

They ain't really harmful until they did something but the looks from them are just as uncomfortable when we stare at them

Was wanting to go to bookfest but ended up drinking Starbucks.

Dad pick us up from KLCC and drop us at Jaya Jusco Mahkota Cheras to get diapers for my nephew

I've been carrying some heavy things, but for the first time, diapers are dead heavy

That happens when you're carrying 3 of them.

Insane.

My day ended happily by a dinner treat from my neighbour

The mouthwatering rendang is so damn delicious that you can't even get that taste in restaurant!

Bravo for the first day of raya!

For some reason, I really like Raya celebration LOL.

By the way it's Merdeka day today!

Happy 54th birthday, I love you my country.

Saya anak Malaysia :) ♥

PS : Not to forget, happy 2nd birthday to my dearest nephew, too :D

2011-08-20T17:14:00.002+08:00

I can barely sleep these days. There's always homeworks or assignments, remain unfinished.

I decided to give in to whatever lies you have told

But it doesn't mean it's not hurtful to know the lies.

So, don't try to convince me she's ain't no sinful, because everyone knows, her God knows she lied.

Well, seeing the one I love is finally in love with a girl he claimed his, I'm happy for him :)

I'm back to reading mood nowadays, becoming a nerd and I wouldn't give a damn.

I'd finally read The Kite Runner and it's sad, real sad.

I don't give damn, ironically I care for the world

Plainly ironic

I'm a rule breaker in nature, I was born by breaking the nature rule

Since I'm not retard which I had a highly risk in born like a retard

Why should I act like one and bound myself to irrelevant rules

I'll be free, and I will taste freedom, someday, I swear I will :)

Turning 18 soon, it's bizarre because I'm not feeling happy

2011-08-15T17:26:00.001+08:00

After all, I gave in.

2011-07-31T20:09:00.001+08:00

2011-07-11T17:38:00.000+08:00

You taught me not only lessons in English but also lessons in life. Your a truly 'si fu' of your students and your sudden death is so shocking to all of us. We had planned to visit you but you could barely pull out some times for us as you have more responsibilities on your currents students. We wished your still here so that we could carry out our gathering as usual, we wished that we could still listen to your jokes that crack us up effortlessly. Now these sayings are plainly in vain, your no longer here with us. Somehow I'm glad that you had gone to Him that you had worshiped throughout your life. I have my faith that He will take care of you and for that I wish you will be in peace. As you said, you're never afraid of death. Let this bravery of yours followed by people that you care for. You will surely be miss, my dear Highly Praised. Farewell and thank you for everything, sir! :')

♥R.I.P Mr. Ngooi ♥

2011-07-05T18:34:00.000+08:00

Hola!

Moi is having a pretty hectic life, I rush assignments almost 24/7 but barely finish them because there's too many of 'em. You have no idea how busy is a Form 6 student life is because it's plain unexplainable through words. Only those who are doing Form6 or leading equally busy lifestyle like us would really feel it -.-

Gosh there's so little time to waste and there's so many things to do that you have no enough time to finish that. For the last five years in high school, I didn't really bother much by homeworks because I did them based on my mood. When I'm in good mood, I feel like doing them and I will finish em. When I turned mad or some random teacher just caught my nerve, I never bother to finish 'em up though it's bad but, dude, who will care so much back then. I mean, everyone just wanna have fun and I'm not superhuman who's good in multitasking, I have fun and abandon my works or I do my works and have no fun. Not those who's really good at handling things in the same times though. Thus, I screwed up pretty much =/

My current daily life is about, sleep, schooling, bath, eat, and HOMEWORKS or ASSIGNMENTS. Yeah, lifeless daily routine and like it or not, I'll have to keep this up for one and a half year or for life (I hope not). I guess Form6 really changed me, I would have still been restless about my academic if I didn't continue to further my study (though hardly happen in my life, in this case my parents are particular strict about our academics). SPM result was a wake up call for me -.- SIGHHH

And the syllabus is getting tougher :( OMO

I've got lotsa works to rush, I shall stop here, and returned to my assignmentsssssssssss.

I know, still complaining much ain't I -.-

Hello, if I wanna be a happier human, releasing little grumpiness of mine won't hurt. LOL

I still like to annoy people much.

And happy sweet 8teen Miss Lymphkai Singh HAHAHAHAH ♥

Oh my half an hour has passed just like this, grrr

Okie, see y'all till then.

Ciao ♥

2011-07-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

I'm not surprise if you hate me

Because I hate you as much as I cared you

Let go of these hatred feeling would be nice

Who doesn't know about this

But sorry, I can promise you things but not this

Plainly due to I'm human

I deserve to hate someone before I plan to let go of someone

When it's time, I won't even look back because you deserve my feelings on you no more

I believe in karma much

So is time will heals those which is incurable

Bye.

2011-07-03T15:06:00.001+08:00

Weirdddd =.= I'm not allowed to get into my blog until I change my settings.

What on earth is going on mannnn.

2011-06-29T18:33:00.002+08:00

I'm told to speak with American/British accent.

Weirddddd

Because I don't have one and I'm so completely carrying my so-called 'Chinese-Accent'

LOL!

An unpleasant Friday

2011-06-25T16:28:00.002+08:00

Hello peeps from phone! :D

Using phone to blog is kinda fun but i prefer using computer as it's difficult to blog. My poor computer still out of order, so i've decided this year end ima work my ass off to buy a laptop or CPU lol.

As my title stated, I had an unpleasant Friday due to a rude brat when I was supposedly enjoy my Friday because I was having the shortest schooling period and no stay-backs, thus me and my peeps headed Petaling Street for tuition.

Three of us were quite tempted to try out the McDonald's GCB so we went to the nearest McDonald from the Kota Raya bus stop. I reckon that might be a nice place to hang out since they'd just recently renovatied since we'd four hours ahead till our tuition class.

It turns out to be a huge crowd in McD as it's lunch hour. Finally, we bought our meals and got ourselves a table for four on the 2nd floor. We were greatly starved and the aroma just us feeling hungrier, I think we finish our meals within half and hour.

After finished eating, we cleaned up the table and I was planning to do my tuition homework when the brat step near me and telling me 'amoi, sini cannot do homework kerana banyak customer lagi kat bawah nak duduk' I was stunned for not knowing I actually can't sit in McD for long. I just gave him a nod and start sipping my drinks with my friends. They, too still sipping their coke and we turn around observe to ensure there's still quite a lot people like us, sitting at their tables though finished eating, one of them are sitting just with her handphone, most of them just sit and chit-chat. So, I started flipping my homeworks while sipping my dear coke (Fyi, I kept all my stationary, just paper I was flipping, though). And we saw the brat was staring at us impatiently. Then, there he goes again.

'Amoi!' he nearly shout and came to our table, I was really annoyed and I said ' Can't you see we're still drinking? After we finish, we'll just leave.' He looked at me angrily but out of words, managed to said a sentence in low volumn and ended it with a clear, loud 'stupid'. I rolled my eyes and said 'Thank you' because he just gave me a reason to launch my complaint.

And so I complaint to his supervisor, by getting reassurance from him that he'd soon talk to his staffs, I walked away with my friends along with the angry stares from the brat. I've been a fan of McD since I was young and these idiotic management and impolite brats just made me stop liking McD that much. I must said this is the first time ever I was asked to leave in a very unfriendly way from a fast food restaurant and I seriously hate the idea I was asked to leave just because I'm a student. Though fast food will do you no good but they were my childhood lol. Mind you, who wouldn't fall for those toys from Happy Meal. Lol.

I wish to tell the people who's working out there and tried to bully students just because they're younger. Wearing school uniform doesn't make me stop being your customer and you just have to treat me right or else, I'll just serve you right :)

I seldom being a bitch for complaining someone about their job as I'll never like someone complain me during my working time. The brat's impoliteness just provoke the bitchy me . It did caught on my nerves because out of so many other, he just can't leave us alone and by calling me stupid, it does make him sound even more stupid lol.

I lost my temper last night over some brat's impoliteness, sounding reasonable but I never liked the feeling of losing temper. I have been trying to control it but at last, it burst out effortlessly. Sigh, I should really seek for anger management.

After finish this storytelling, I feel much better. I shall sign out and start being hardworking because that's the only way to succeed in STPM even though I don't feel like doing anything today x) oh, I feel like reading Harry Potter! It's damn addictive ;)

Take care peeps.

Do have a nice day

Ciao! :)

2011-06-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

Wanting to become a veterinarian seems like an unreachable dream

But deep inside

The passion

The desire

The desperation

Just becoming greater and greater.

I shan't give up chasing my dream :)

Untitled

2011-06-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

Don't ask stupid question because the outcome would not be any greater than the question itself.

I tend to get lessons for life greater than Mathematics lessons

It's pathetically sickening

Frankly sometimes I get sick about these humanity of mine

Being cold-blooded might be a good thing

At least I'm pretty sure I won't feel guilty over a meaningless apology from hypocrites no more

But I'm born to be warm-blooded and that's something I can't change

They said, if you keep going against God's will, it will cost you something

Why is being nice and good isn't good enough

Why people just can't get enough

Why are they demanding the best of you yet they give so little

This society is so sick

Sigh

Oh darn

Ima sleep

It had been a week that I can be really sleeping

Night peeps

2011-05-30T10:39:00.002+08:00

If you want people to scream 'you suck' right in your face only realize how suck you're, you're more than just an ordinary bastard. Congratulations man! -.-

2011-05-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

Coincidence? I hope it's not. You suck, you caused headache to me rather than Math T does.

2011-05-23T00:07:00.001+08:00

Dovrei smettere di prendersi cura di voi. Ciao.

2011-05-18T17:10:00.000+08:00

Maybe I was wrong on you, on myself, oh maybe.

2011-05-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

Stop accusing me, because I'm done with you and well, your accuses are no longer valid, DUH c(:

2011-05-13T00:40:00.000+08:00

STARBUCKS (!)

anyone? :)

School. Not college, it's school.

2011-05-11T19:05:00.002+08:00

Yes, it's school. I'm still an official student in Malaysia, wearing the blue-white school uniform, as I'm taking Form6. Not going anywhere not switching class no nothing. I followed the footstep of my siblings and I don't feel awkward about it. I don't blame my family for not supporting me financially to get into college like parents of major friends of mine did because it's the way how my parents trained their kid to be independent and they always prefer Form6. It's said if I'd have get a scholarship I can go for places I wanted to go but well reality is a bitch and my result is too screwed up for getting a scholarship. I won't consider getting a loan unless it's really necessary because I'd feel like I owe a life to the gov. I won't disagree Form6 would be a better choice for me because I wanted to enter public university and I just coincidentally found out the university I wanted to enter is actually having some kinda partnership thing going on with my school. So yeah, let's hope Form6 year would be nice on me :)

Nonetheless, orientation week was fine aside from those briefings given that I had already known for years. The funniest part would be touring around the school I've been knowing for 5years. Ice breaking was not that bad, it was better than I expected, almost everyone laughed (I guess). On the first day it was all awkwardness. I can't have my biological clock back to normal yet, caught a bad headache for not getting enough sleep :( I wore my school uniform and it just feel like I was going back to school from holiday, seeing friends and going to talk about how's holiday life had been. Again, reality is a bitch and it is not the same anymore without the people.

I'm shock for many former schoolmates had came back. Oh well, majority are moving out soon due to JPA, IPTA and yada yada. This year's upper six has only thirty-five person so I would not expect more from my batch x) Second day was a shitty day, I hate briefings as much as I hate caterpillars, they're disgusting and they annoyed me. The hot weather was killing me, I hate rainy days but I don't like the feeling of sunlight burning up my skin -.- We were asked to design a logo and present it in front of the people. Lucky me, I had a nice group of people as my group mate, two of em are the former schoolmate and others are the new friends :) I'm glad to say they're unlike some people I heard from my friends that wouldn't give a damn about what's going on and don't bother about giving contribution. My group mates did contribute and cares and laughed and enjoyed :) Nice people are everywhere when you're ain't a bitch to 'em :)

Today we had this treasure hunt and it got me speechless at first because the memories of having no fun during treasure hunt in school haunt me = = I've never really enjoy treasure hunt in my school = = It turned out to be quite fun because I feel the team work within the group :) Teamwork are really important to achieve something though. After that, we listen to briefings for another 2hours -.- See? Listening to things you had already knew sucks, knowing things you don't know but soon-to-be known still sucks -.- We went to clean up our dusty classroom before we went back and duh, it's on the top floor = = The only benefits I see is I can feel the cool air :P

Alright dad's nagging me again, for not taking bath after returning home. My old man never know how much blogging meant to me so yeah I'm going to take my bathe now to stop him from shouting. Tomorrow is going to be a better day, or the best day during this orientation week because we're going to visit UPM :) I'm glad that I know what I wanna do and what I should do, I should work hard to gain my ticket to university and I will, after screwing up my SPM is more than enough to wake me up from fooling around.

Oh dad's shouting, ciao peeps!

Wish y'all had a good day :)

Smile baby, you know iloveyou :)

♥

2011-05-10T18:55:00.002+08:00

♥ Macaroons

2011-05-10T18:53:00.000+08:00

Angry bird angry bird angry bird angry bird (!)

Form6 ain't that bad after all, I thought :)

2011-05-08T01:58:00.000+08:00

I'm bitter, I bite, I bitch like you do, don't you dare to deny :)

2011-05-08T01:51:00.002+08:00

It hurts to see your lies, it hurts more to know that you lied to me for someone who I called betrayer, it hurts the most when you lied to me just to remain the relationship between both of you. But guess what? For your happiness, I lied to myself like I know nothing about your lies. It'd been days but I still couldn't convince myself on this one. I just found out I've never able to let this go like I did to any other things because THIS is why I lost my faith in relationship. Nothing has happened, I could possibly hope for nothing, nothing, like seriously, nothing. May I speak with you the same way I did for years, but nothing stay the same no more. I'd rather wear the mask, being called as hypocrite, putting a fake smile on my face, than letting my guard down and let your lies and traitor's disloyalty hurts me once more. One has taken away my faith, I've left nothing for you to come after.

Lave me alone. Please.

If I'd knew what is becoming, I'd rather not calling you my soul sister. I won't be surprise if either of you are reading, go on with your lies, be happy with your accomplishment, as monster with kindhearted mask, I think you'd be more care less about my broken heart than any shit in your life. I don't need your sympathize nor your "love" as they never meant the way they should be. I'm done dealing with this, thank you, for hurting me and trying hard to cover up your stories. None will get this fucking feeling when none is being treat in this way, I need no advice nor counseling of yours because you will not feel this hurtful hatred feeling burning within myself like I did. No, you just won't get it. Try not to tell me think from where the one stand, what one is trying to do, how is one trying make things up, minimizing the hurtful lies on me. Why don't ya think from where I stand and what I've been going through. Rationally speaking, I should shut up and move on. As a human, I've my right to complain and curse, in my own little space of course mind you.

Farewell, I'm moving on, I hope I really am, for once.

I accepted the fact that I failed to have a long term relationship with human.

I'm a failure in this.

For me, I taste hopeless and it's bitter, real bitter.

No, this would be the last time I say this and I will leave these bitterness behind for good.

I will not be faithful in relationship anymore, don't say I have not warn ya.

2011-05-08T01:13:00.002+08:00

" The point is, I don't see there's any point to fight over nothing " - Unknown :)

2011-05-08T01:06:00.000+08:00

Proudly announce I'm still breathing :)

And I'm going to be FREE

But yet

I don't feel like having my freedom back though my resignation will take effect from today onwards because I signed for the application letter for temporary job there when I signed my resignation -.- so say fml. Though I like to earn and spend money. The feeling of going back to school without those people I'd been knowing for years is weird and it's even worse when you have to spend one week time for orientation at the place you have been in for five years. How pathetically hilarious this situation would be, I've no idea. Not thinking of transfer unless the good teachers are all gone (which partially are, if I'm not mistaken) since the process of transferring to another school literally haunt me as they're really annoying =.=

This working experience meant a lot for me as I met different kind of people from the society, though it was only small part of it but I'd know how cunning one could be when it comes to certain circumstances. Being protective to yourself is human natural but hurting others to get yourself protected is so inhuman yet common in the world. These creatures are sick, so I won't disagree human is ain't no different from animal -.- Hypocrites are everywhere, immature kiddo who spoke out their mind without filtering it is actually everywhere, too. One day I might just lost confident in the relationship with people, they're so unreal, fake, frail.

I got addicted to Starbucks lately

I guess I'll spend my salary on Starbucks more than everything else -.-'

Sigh

Oh result.

2011-03-24T01:20:00.001+08:00

It's going to be a while for almost everyone around you to ask you this question, commonly 'how's your result' but they're expecting your answer in how many A's and there they go start 'OH....' This is the part I basically hate the most no matter what kinda result I got. I've relatives who can't stop worrying about my result and bunches of human will ask me ze most common question. So yea, 3A 5B 2C is my result, asking me am I proud of it? Not really but I'd at least tried. Ima recheck, don't ask me why am I doing that though everybody knows the hope is sooo frail. Here's the end of the story, how good if those people who is going to ask me ze question read this and stfu when they meet me, and save that apologetic look and pat on my shoulder telling me it's alright, my result is ain't so bad because practically I can tell how bad is this. Not feeling grateful or thankful at the moment, so let me had myself in my emo corner. Then, I'd be thankful for the thoughtful you.

Still, congratulation to those who achieve flying colours in this examination and to those who had a major mess up result like mine, welcome to the boat. Wish you feel better in times as well.

PS : Don't you dare to say, why she can't be carefree on this unless you're or you'd been in my position, who had a higher hope on things but the reality let you down. Ima get back up but I believe in times it heals.

Till then,
Arrivederci </3

2011-03-21T01:05:00.002+08:00

My blog is somehow awesomely rotten because my lifeless daily activity. Here I go again using adjectives incorrectly but who gives a damn when the end of the world is coming lmao. I met couple of high school peeps at my working place and it just feel nice to have someone you familiar with at a strange place you'd forced yourself to fit into. It somehow left me facing the flash back of memories, how awesome were the good old days with these people. I like this quote that where there's friends, where there's make you feel home.

On this Wednesday I'm going to face the utmost horrifying result I'd been afraid of. No I'm not playing cool no more, I don't say I don't care about my result, I do care but I can hardly give a damn on what those 'brilliant' people going to talk and what humiliation they're going to have on me, I just don't control the world.

Some people might be curious what am I working as, as far as I know not much human actually knows what I'm working as but I can tell ya my major task is to deal with people with various behaviours aside from dealing with numbers and cash, they're somehow weird though. I'm working on how to deal with customers, colleagues and well, strangers who might just pop out and humiliate you outta nothing. I don't call myself superhuman but I'd done something I'd never ever wanted in my life, bravo for myself -_-

I'm so broke at the moment, this is the time when people said they gone desperate over the next salary. I feel it indeed. By the way if the picture of M&M disturbed you, I apologized because I'm chewing them, they're my supper. My biological clock is such a mess, meal time is a big mess too. I'd be surprised my body survived this for a month, unusual hours for sleeps and having food.

I'm feeling sick :(

Can I ask for leave?

OMO :(

See? Depression is becoming serious on me, I should seek help of the bills perhaps -.-

2011-03-15T11:36:00.000+08:00

I'm so exhausted. I'm so lovesick. Oh damn, maybe I should go and learn swimming, beside I can relax my mind, I can learn how to survive in tsunami (perhaps) ? No joke. See, how working add depression on someone, and I'm not the unluckiest people alive on earth. In fact living in this disaster-free country is a plus for me, but I can't stop complaining -.- HAIH BE GRATEFUL REGENT CHUA. BYEBYE.

PS: Pray for the people, those who are living is going to be safe, those who are missing is going to be found and those dead ones are going to be at peace. (some meaningful quote I saw from tumblr :'] )

2011-03-03T00:44:00.003+08:00

Yesh, day after today is my day-off :D YESH YESH YESH :D

Respect people in order to be respected :)

2011-03-01T02:44:00.002+08:00

You might think you have been the powerful one during high school. You might think you are way brilliant than people. You might be so vain that you're planning to be your own boss at your workplace. Yeah that's all you can imagine in your imaginary world. In fact, I don't see how powerful one could be in the world of being an employee. You might held some important position but no, you're ain't no powerful as the real boss was. You could hardly be a brilliant one if you don't have the humble soul within yourself because you learn nothing when you think your the greatest in the world. You can be a boss in front of the newbie, but no, you're as terrified as the rat when you see the people who is known for his higher position. Ironically hilarious but hey, this is life.

Working is a totally whole new experience to me, I meant both for myself mentally and for work. I learnt to be a more careful person with these hateful number who had been treating me bad for the past two years, I learnt to be a listener instead of spitting my ideas to people like I used to be because people are so sensitive and they take things differently from the way I handle things. I learnt to shut up and mind my own business in order to be safe. I learnt to be a more reserved human being with strangers due to the face I am face with more and more of the hypocrites. Wearing the masks is making me breathless but I'm wearing it very willingly because I want to survive among these cunning people in the world. Be smart enough to act like a dumb ass, no one will doubt you nor care because everyone is like this.

Look, it's optional for you to listen to the words people said. You can easily left when your friends are discussing something you felt bored or offended, or you can just slam your door when your parents and siblings annoy you, the words they said are behind the door. At work, all you can do is smiles and nods because you won't wanna have enemies, those harsh words and story that doesn't exist hurt you but you can't avoid them leave alone fighting back. For me it's never optional for me to listen to words spoken by people, I'm not deaf nor I have difficulty in hearing, once I heard it and that's it. I do care every single word people said, I ain't no carefree as I used to and this sucks. Tearing a little is the fact that I'm a human, not that I'm horrified and suicidal pfft.

Thanks to all these shitty experience I'm more appreciative towards my family and friends, they're, indeed the best people in my life :) I'm feeling grateful, too for learning things that's new to my life :) Just so you know, I'm speaking of generally, I apologize if this offended you ;) Be nice!

Cheers for working hard for earning some pennies! It proves I'm somehow 'useful' to the society *laughs*

To be honest, I feel like having some alcohol hmmmmm :(

Till then, night peeps ♥

Working made that bitch crazyyy (N)

2011-02-28T04:11:00.000+08:00

*QUICK Update*

Hey peeps I'm officially updating my open diary which I've been deserted for days or even, for months. My poor desktop remain dead and the connection here is slower than my baby turtles. Yes, please erase the myth of turtles is slow walker that implant in our head since we're young because my baby turtles can walk pretty fast like the heavy shell of theirs don't burden them much. I'm working, and that made me crazy because my job has long working hours and I don't get as much pay as I expected and I got a job that I forever unwanted in my life ever. I'm ain't no free bitch any longer. Yes I'm complain as I always do, duh. I'm working my ass off to feed myself and my three little (not really) baby turtles, and I'm dead tired, lemme sleep and I will update more during my day off :)

Bongiorno && ciao! *yawn*

Review : EOS Natural 3tones Green

2011-02-28T02:41:00.003+08:00

I promised I'd done this when I'm able to online so here it's :)

I received my lenses from Lili's Lens House days ago. I personally know the seller myself, she's nice and friendly :) Now her brother is helping her to handle this blogshop while she's idle for some reason. Still, they're pretty efficient. You'll get your lens within the period they had promised and yet in a very affordable price, indeed the price is one of the cheapest you can find on the net.

PS : I'm not bluffing or blowing my own trumpet for 'em, I'm not pay for it alright.

So here it is, Natural 3tones by EOS.

Bathroom light :)

With flash :O

Colour and Design : 8/10

First of all, I must say that hey're a beautiful shade of green, they blend well with my typical Asian dark brown eyes. Somehow they look Nudy Green-like for me when pictures are taken with the flash. Still, they're pretty natural even without makeup :) Just fyi I barely wear makeup because I suck in painting my own face so I've always seek for some natural-looking colour circle lenses. Nonetheless, this lenses don't look as pixie like as my last pair of GEO Tri-color Grey and they look even more natural with the present of this thin black rim. I once wore it to work and my colleagues had been guessing the colour because it looks grayish blue with a hint of green under the yellow light. In conclusion, I'm pretty satisfy with both the design and color :)

Comfort : 7/10

My eyes are sensitive and it goes dry very easily though I must say this pair is more comforting than my previous pair. I only started to put some eye drop after 6-7hours wearing it. My guess it'd be pretty comfortable for most people if their eyes are bearable to these circle lenses.

Enlargement : 8/10

I've small iris and this 14.5mm lenses provide satisfying enlargement in my opinion. It doesn't make me look like an eye-popping alien but it does make my eyes look bigger and even a bit doll-like :D

Overall : 8/10

Frankly, I like these babies so much, they're somehow natural and not overrating. If you go for a more natural look but desire to try some colours other than brown and grey, you should give this lenses a shot :) Hope this post will be beneficial for y'all!

(?)

2011-01-16T14:54:00.001+08:00

Something is missing
Something is missing
Something is missing

But what is missing
I don't know what's missing
But the emptiness scare me
It's like a missing puzzle in the life
It left a hole that I can't possibly fill it because I have no idea how to

Emptiness

I hate the feeling that, something is missing

It's awful

2011-01-16T14:51:00.001+08:00

时间见证万物生老病死

时间与爱脱离不了关系

它允许爱的种子萌芽

它证明爱的脆弱

它让丧失至爱之痛随它而去
它也能延长人对爱的怀念
它更能延长丧失至爱之痛

时间你的存在确实有些让人苦笑不得

笔,

蔡丽晶

-.-'

2011-01-04T12:35:00.000+08:00

I'm so lifelessly unemployed and followed my sister to her college and using the computer in their library because she has something to do, ugh. I went through almost everything and I even google on veterinary science and searching the university that offer it.

Omigosh to say that majority the universities listed is from United Stated, there's like 237 universities? And there's only 2 local universities that offer veterinary science, UPM AND UMS. Pathetically sikit -.-' 2 from Singapore, 3 from New Zealand, 10 from United Kingdom and 12 from Australia -.-' See? I'm bored enough to write it out here.

Imma continue my, research so byeeee.

College seems interesting.

Maybe I should grab some books to read, they have quite a number of books. OK I'M IN LIBRARY. Z. I'm so sleepy can die, the biological clock is all mess-up, I always feel energetic in the night, which is not a good sign. Maybe working on February since I was epic failed on interview and I hate writing resume. Jeez.

Oh shit I forgot getting my license, arghhhhh :'(

Till then.

PS : I've no idea why so many people are staring at me -.-'

2010-12-30T13:41:00.000+08:00

We're done :)

2010-12-28T17:49:00.000+08:00

:(

ihatemissingyou

2010-12-27T15:48:00.000+08:00

Be grateful :)

Because your still breathing

2010-12-27T15:32:00.006+08:00

2010 is coming an end, too soon.

There's this moment I believe in love.

Love of family, love of friends and etc.

Love of family to you is undeniable, they accept who you are, they love the whole of you, they give you the best they can give, they watch your back when others don't, they forgive you for every single time no matter how big the mistake you have made, they console you when your sad, they take care of you when your sick, they provide you with financial needs and they just keep doing these with no complain. All these happened because you're part of the family. Love of family is utmost generous compare to others, love from parents to their children especially. But how many did actually acknowledge the love from their parents and show appreciation. Well, not so many. I understood there's disagreements, your parents seem to be never really care about you, your siblings hardly show affection to you, your parents hit you, your siblings threaten you and blah blah blah. Aside from broken families, you barely have a reason why shouldn't you love your parents back and show them your filial obedience to them. By blood, you and your family is the closest you can get on earth. You can say that you hate your family today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow. But in the end, you will say 'I love them'. In the end, you will see only family is there for you when your completely lonely. The rage won't last forever :)

Love of friends. It's a great thing though. Aside from family, the most trusted ones could be your friends. Affections between friends is alike with family love. They're kinda essential to us. You feel good with friends around, you exchange secrets with em, you talk about hot guys with em, you share the happiness, the pains, the problems. You'll be so lucky to find your true friends :) Meanwhile, it's a thingie always got your doubt, isn't it? You thought you can be a bestfriend forever with somebody, but eventually both of you turn into enemies because you're lack of interaction, you're barely talking to somebody, your overly low self-esteem, your guessing and of course, not to forget the most awful thing can happen, rumours. Rumours just kill marriage, friendship, relationship. You heard people talking, and the main source is from your bestfriend, it's just unforgivable because you trusted someone and that's what you get in return. I never believe in 'forgive and forget'. Unless your suffering from memory loss, otherwise it's just impossible to tarnish a memory, especially a painful one. Tell me your generous? not on these ma'am :) Nah, honestly I don't believe in bestfriend forever no more. People just talk, and they won't stop making friends because your dis-likeness on someone, don't be too naive :)

Now, I'm so doubtful towards love, all kind of love, including puppy love :)

Those lesson that not only academically but in life I've learn in passed 5years, taught me well and make the present me. It's no harm for me to be doubtful, be paranoid. Because like someone said, 'Things changed, so do you and I'. Let's keep moving on, 2010 is going an end, it also meant 2011 is going to begin. You can't move on just by saying, you just have to keep those memories away, after all past is passed, nothing can change it, why not focus on present and future :)

Just some random thought.

Ciao!

2010-12-27T13:52:00.000+08:00

I'm sick of you

You said you gave up

Oh well, you never ever give in any effort

Don't you dare to say you gave up

I give up for giving hope

Stupidity of mine had given such a huge hope for you

And you just toss it as thrash

So yea, arrivederci

2010-12-24T15:08:00.000+08:00

Merry X'mas, peeps :)

My god -.-'

2010-12-22T17:53:00.000+08:00

What happen to national geographic nowadays, I meant, what happen to Malaysia nowadays = =

This is the young Israelite King David's statue in nude made by Michelangelo (If your a Christian, I guess you know who's him, I meant King David). This is the picture I found on net and this month's issue for National Geographic is also something to do with King David. And lemme present you what happened to my copy of National Geographic Mag -.- '

Biblical King David statue's private part had been censored by the stuff using marker pen -.-' In my foolish effort to erase that censored part regards the respect to art, I used eraser to rub the marker pen off and well, here's what it looks like now.

It looks like as if his pubic region is shining lol. And I'm mourning for my National Geographic Mag, now it looks so ugly and incomplete :( It's spoilt. God knows why on earth they have to censor the private part of a statue. Get me, it's just a STATUE. It's art. Why see it as something else. LOL

This is a good lesson for me to check my mag before purchasing it :(

Epic failure -.-

2010-12-18T18:59:00.001+08:00

I filled in my interview form for my temporary job just now, the position I asked for is sales assistant, and I mistakenly written it as sales assistance. Say, FML because I realize this mistake when I had already return the form to the stuff. Damn. Gosh kill me I was so nervous just by filling up the form. Gah what about having interview with the manager? I'm so so so nervous!

By the way, wish me luck people, hopefully I'll get employ /:

Just so you know, I've already left a bad impression for 'em by mistakenly written that word

LOL!

Buhbye :D

2010-12-17T13:47:00.000+08:00

Life is great,

2010-12-17T11:45:00.001+08:00

so far.

I get to sleep for at least 12hours per day. I even get to online without any time limit. Well I too get to go out off the curfew I'm usually up to. I'm currently resting in the house for coming events and outings ;) and I need to get my license as soon as possible or else I can't start working. Imma ask Pets Wonderland whether they're hiring or not. Maybe some other pet shop too since veterinary clinic seems to not accept any high school leavers. My parents asked, why not work like a teacher like how your sister did after her SPM. I literally laughed and said, mum and dad, I don't want to face a whole bunches of baby Ehen (my nephew). I don't wanna work with kindergarten or elementary school as I really annoyed easily by kids. Unlike my friends who can actually bear with them :P Salary as a teacher is kinda high though. Compare to other part-time jobs, I meant. You can even tuition others and earn some extra bucks :O But it's going to be a big no-no for me :)

I see the 'We're hiring' everywhere, jobs is everywhere :O

But I want a higher pay :(

I need money to do things on my to-do list :(

Gosh it sounds desperate but I need money desperately = =

I want to buy a camera

I want to buy a couple pair of new shoes

I want to buy some clothes, it's now year end sales babeh!

I want to buy some stuff for my parents! Something they wanted for long time ;)

I want to buy bookssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! :D

I need to pay my debt to my siblings -.-'

I need to treat my siblings -.-'

I need to save for my Redang trip with cutie pie! :)

I need to save for outings and events

Maybe if I have extra, I wanna buy an iguana or bearded dragon :3

See, get what I mean I need money?

*^&^£%$£""%^&*) How great if money drop from sky. I always say this

Am off to brunch, arrivederci! :)

2010-12-16T02:52:00.003+08:00

Better stop hoping for dreams that ain't gonna come true.

Because it hurts so badly when you wake up and know that it's just a dream.

Pessimistic not, just being realistic. It is just going to be a less painful memory.

:)

2010-12-16T02:25:00.000+08:00

" Do you miss me? " :)

" No. "

" Why don't you miss me " :(

" Because I think of you all the time, your just impossible to miss "

:')

Awwww, it makes me look like bitchy lovesicko wth

Done

2010-12-16T02:01:00.002+08:00

I'm done with SPM.

It meant I'm officially done with high school.

Yet I still don't feel like one.

Time to have some crazy moments ;)

Get a driving license

Get some part time jobs

Get some guys ;)

Get my bunches of buddies to meet up and have fun

Get some new clothes, shoes, accessories, BAGSSSSS

Get a new phone perhaps?

Get some turtle food for my turtles they're so hungry

Get the room cleaned -.-

Last but not least, get a life

WTF OUT OF SUDDEN I SOUND LIFELESS LAAAAH BYE :D

2010-12-04T21:46:00.000+08:00

For no reason, I smiled at the ugly truth. These things happened because I caused it to happen.

Well well well, Physics is pretty much screw up like History

Honestly

I can't help but smile at how numbers really dislike me

FML LOLOLOL.

Ciao!

♥

7 down, 3 mores to go babeh ;)

2010-11-28T12:54:00.001+08:00

I ♥ You, Physic!

Please love me back because I want an A for Physice xD

2010-11-26T17:08:00.002+08:00

I can smile, too :)

Laaa I love my blog :D

It helps to stable my emotion wth

Saja saja random ;)

Gonna be away till 14th of December, Arrivederci! ♥

SPM Candidates, Gambateh! Let's kick SPM's arse :)

By the way, this picture was taken accidentally, I found it in the folder -.- believe it or not LOL

2010-11-26T16:42:00.001+08:00

Da ora in poi mettono su la mia maschera tutto il tempo

Perché io sono sicuro di te, tu e tu.

E 'senza fiato, potrei semplicemente me stesso perso

Ma è degno, perché non posso scacciare via temporanea le insicurezze

Scappa dalle tue bugie tua disonestà tutto tuo

Fidati di me oh bugiardo io non credo in te più

Non fidarsi di un bugiardo che mi sono mai mentire a

Io ridevo di me

Perché mi fidavo di te, e tu

Bene, ora posso sorridere senza la preoccupazione

Perché io so

Quello che tutti vedono in me è solo una maschera

Uno di quei tanti maschera

Non è possibile raggiungere e farmi male più

Arrivederci bugiardo, (:

Ho usato per amarti, troppo.

2010-11-25T16:37:00.000+08:00

Oh god

Once in a lifetime

I'm going to curse the ones who made this SEJARAH PAPER2 2010 to have to worse nightmare

Good for those who

Actually went through the two textbooks

Who did the trial for other state

Who memorized the Kasturi's and Martin's note

People who like me

Don't get a shit of paper2

And feeling '...' because we have focused on the tips

Put your hands up

And show the middle finger

LOL

Bye (:

When someone you loved lie to you, the bridge of trust will only break down.

2010-11-22T17:12:00.001+08:00

IM VERY STRESS, CAN DIE -.-

All the best peeps ♥

Ciao

2010-10-31T19:59:00.001+08:00

Sijil Graduasi? Sound pretty meaningless because I haven't done with the frigging Sijil Pelajaran Menengah. LOL. The ceremony was a great one. Everyone looks great and had lotsa fun. Straight fringe is back but it was my epic fugliest fringe ever because it spoilt almost every picture I took last night T_T and after yesterday, I really really agree that, this is a frigging small world. LOL :D

See what I'd just said, it's 0.01% chance to happen to wear the same thing and that happened on me LOL.

And, ta-da, some of my fav photos so far, still waiting ze peeps to upload pictureeeees :)

(I look like I'm abusing Mr Singh but I wasn't ok -.-)

Till then, I'm gonna hibernate again. Arrivederci peeps :)

2010-10-21T22:26:00.002+08:00

Sometimes

All you gonna say is

' It's okay '

Well, with a hug

It will make one's day

2010-10-19T17:57:00.001+08:00

I've always wanted things to happen, things that impossible to happen, things that never in my control.

What I have, they seem to be a lot, for a greedy one, this is too little to be satisfied

Tell me, in whose body there's no starving greedy monster

Corroding the soul

Tainting the goods

Growing the evil

Evil is striking against the good self to survive just like any other creature on earth

Well by having a conscience, the good always win over the evil :)

Who doesn't have the evil side of themselves deep in their heart

Everyone can be angel and evil

It's their choice to be like angel or evil to you

Though they will never shown their extreme side of good and bad on you

They hide it well

You said you know someone very well?

You just know nobody, really

The fact is

Your the major factor that manipulating their choice

To be an angel to you

Or to be an evil

So, be nice, pal :)

Most of us are born equal

Leave aside intelligence and rich or poor that no one could argue about

We're far lucky from the unfortunate ones

Don't have to try hard to impress and be unique

Because in someway somewhat somehow

You being yourself is a one of the most unique creature on earth

Just some thoughts, those textbooks simply made me out of breath

Ciao ♥

2010-10-17T15:14:00.000+08:00

Internet Network Connection - Died

Cell Phone - Died

Love life - Died (as if it existed)

Social life - Dying

Study progression - my turtle obviously walk faster

Ok tell me what's next?

Jeez.

Last night, I almost died of guiltiness. I said to myself, I should lend a hand instead of standing, gawking like a frighten panicked fool next time. Life without internet and cellphone is pretty bored. My life is based on radio and jogging nowadays. Call me what? Yea I just figure out : get a life.

34 days to go. Then, good life is waiting ahead of me, I meant us, candidates of SPM. National Service will sure be damn a lot of fun, meeting new friends, five meals per day and holding M-14? LOL. Unfortunately I'm not selected by the system itself.

Wow, good life, long for you.

To say hi to it, you must first say hi to hell and my ridiculous high school then say bye to them.

I'm thinking to buy another couple pairs of turtle, I've a big tank for it.

Human tends to not appreciate whatever is right in front of them or what they already have.

A little bit of thoughts of life recently, am I suicidal? FML

Time to cram, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

:D

2010-10-11T01:52:00.000+08:00

its 2 in the morning and I just can't go into dream :(

sigh should stop having these addictive drinks contained caffeine, bye.

I never feel sleepy during the day even though I haven't sleep throughout the night

abnormally okay and someday this body is gonna breakdown

god bless myself

2010-10-09T17:48:00.000+08:00

♥

If only if you see this, I missed missing you.

Letting go is a good thing I supposed? (:

I love to be like a lost bird in the world

Don't know where am I

Yet I know there's something waiting

Something good

Hmmm.

2010-10-09T17:46:00.000+08:00

Did I mention, I'm going to be M.I.A for some days?

Bye world

M.I.A (:

2010-10-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

Mentally ill despo is equally horrible with serial killer.

Now I know that -.-

Me and my friends met one in mamak stall today. He literally freak us out. He came in after we order our food, having his food and drink finished within minutes while we're still enjoying ours. Then, I found out his eyes locked on us, or I'd rather say, our food. LOL. Then he started doing weird things. First he stand up abruptly and glare at our table, then he walk over and kinda GREET us in some unusual way, and last but not least, he came over our table and have a seat at our table as he is part of us. It creeps us out and we were panicked so we asked the stuff to help us to pack the food and went to the counter to pay ze bill. At the moment we stand up, he stand up, too. WE'RE SO SCARED like he is going to follow us. At the moment we left our table, he walked over and take our food =_=

While he is eating our food, he looks at us and that was so creepy that we ran off. LOL. It's not a time for you to be heroic when you're dealing with someone who is rather insane. Despo will do whatever to get what made them desperate for, like hurting the innocence. Geez the stuff asked us to eat normally like he didn't exist. For god's sake how could one eat under such irritating horrifying situation OMFG. If that despo told me he wants food, I would have gave him my toseng instead of end up eating not even half of them then ran away :( Sad, now I have phobia to go to mamak. Bye Rejab, needless to say about where's our customer right -.-'

By the way, NOW I think my sixth sense is reliable, most of the time LOL.

Don't act like some weirdo because you wanna be unique, be like one because you're entirely being yourself. Trust me, in the future you will realise it's all rubbish because no one will be more comfortable than being themselves. Peer pressure? UHM unlikely to happen in Malaysian Public School HAAA? That happen the least when your in HIGH PERFORMANCE SCHOOL, LMAO! Speaking of my school, it is getting even worse, frankly speaking this batch of prefects are mostly spoiled brats I assumed. They should keep in mind that it's high school, deal with things like it's one. You don't have to report/rely/stick/glue to the teachers 24/7 about what had happened. Little harmless shit that no one will care about, tell me what's the intention to make it worse when you can make it gone. KIDS -.-'

And

Screw the prefect who is responsible for the playing-music-in-the-morning session. Dammit I've been listening to I HAVE A DREAM repeatedly for gazillion times. It's a nice song but it annoys me when I've to listen to it every morning repeatedly. LOL.

When people don't show appreciation, you should stop trying, really. That's what people always tell me. Leave alone being selfish and coward or you name it, after all you're the one who got hurt the most, not the one you intend to protect, intend to give love to. Such poor fella help with good intention but end up with every fingers point at for all the faults. One keep everything to one self because he knew, it will help less for the situation with some third party speaking. Those who knew truth about anything everything, is those who involved. Third party should keep their mouth shut before knowing the truth and start spiting at anyone.

Maybe oh maybe, take my words, don't ever involve romantically with coward.

GRAZIE TO PEEPS FOR ZE BAG! ♥

It's bedtime. I've tuition in the morning so yea, arrivederci. I miss blogging, I really do =/ SPM 45 days away, and freedom is there after I'm done with my key to future. Better focus on nothing more than books. Yet I'm so distract, still. Sigh.

Buonanetto,

My heart is full and my heart's door is always open, you can come in here anytime :)

2010-10-05T21:59:00.002+08:00

She will be loved :)

2010-10-05T21:26:00.000+08:00

I was being obsessive much with him, really. I denied it from the start because I called it love.

No one really know what shit everyone had been through, just stop messing around without actually knowing

I realized creature with a penis doesn't make you a man, it has only shown that your a male organism though. You don't have the attitude, you don't respect the females, you behave worse than a bitch, you being petty over whatever shits, tell me how possibly I can respect you like your a man. Sometimes, you have to earn for your own respect from people. Stop shouting from far like a kid who can't get his ice-cream, your a seventeen, not a kid. Ask for a fight and stand up for it, bitching around and dare not to move? Ha it had me laughing over. Your wrong sense of humour make everyone make fun of it, not that your funny but you're fooling yourself successfully.

Hey I might have been overreacting, but you start it first. Wanna be a big brother? Very first thing you gonna do, stop being like a kid :) Oh damn people like you is part of the reason why I really disappointed to boys of my peers nowadays jeez. Gentlemeeeeen? No shit man they're either extinct or this good side of them is eaten by their own overly over high self-esteeeeeeem.

I've been away from computer for days, watching Bones is the new addiction and I think that I should really really really start studying -.- Haih, bye, I've a broadband now which I need to move and move from a spot to another in order to get some reception, it's really poor because I've to disconnect, connect, disconnect and reconnect -.-

All the best to the PMR candidates, believe me that you'll miss them when you're being a SPM candidate LOL.

Why I see apple (not consumable) EVERYWHERE = =?

2010-09-24T22:56:00.004+08:00

iPhone4 officially launched in Malaysia last night -.-'

Nowadays I see iPad on the hands of people I know -.-'

My house have a big fan of apple product

Such a apple craze jeez

This pricey apple doesn't kick doctor away

This apple is addictive like drug, an incurable disease -.-'

Well, I still prefer the real apple.

Uhmmmmm, I'm thinking to start looking at the mathematical formula

Too distracted for no reason, fml.

Tomorrow is another school day

People are having their trial and we're so free

We, ze so called proud SABians -.-'

Our school is 'unique'

We're free in the sense of we're not cramming books like them during Raya celebration

We're free in the sense of, we're kinda relieved from the stress for a while

Just a while

Just so you know, it never last for long

♥

Awwwwwwww yawn

2010-09-22T17:07:00.003+08:00

I miss holiday, I miss blogging, I miss my frigging old personal computer that broke down age ago

But I just found out I miss him no more

I let go, thanks for the memories.

It just go with the flow, so naturally.

It wasn't love, it was a crush, I was totally messed up. LOL

Sick of the exams, sick of wasting ze papers, sick of wasting ze pen ink!

Kinda sick of spending time in school for nothing

Yes I'm having great time with my friends but it just sucks when you went school and come back with the thought of 'another day, sienz'

School seems to be no fun nowadays except the good time with kawan-kawan LOL see friends are important

I just met someone really cute, soooo cute (:

Oh I miss surfing net and watching BONES >:

I wanna go for a walk now, I'm somehow glad that I've nice neighbourhood woots :D

Till then ♥

2010-09-16T01:58:00.004+08:00

I told people it wasn't love, I just like you, very much that I thought it was love.

But now I realize, it's more than love.

You know what? I wish there's a spell to make someone to fall in love with me, really.

I wish it exists, then my life is happier and easier you bastard. GEEZ.

I WANNA FUCKING GET OVER IT LAHHHHHH :'<

I've been thinking

2010-09-14T21:08:00.000+08:00

I've to focus on my study
I've to make things right, at least give it a try
I've to stop wasting my time
I've to stop spending too much
I've to stop watching CSI
I've to stop screaming at my mum
I've to stop complaining
I've to start being grateful, real grateful on everything
I've to start revising, studying or whatever shit
I've to stop myself from going out too much

EHHHH WAIT

Before all these, lemme enjoy ze last five days of my holiday :)

I know I'm not suppose to, but still food and fun are soooo seductive aren't them?

Rendang rendang rendang and of course, MOONCAKE ♥ x

;)